Of Orange Strawberries and Red Pineapples
by Astalavisbay
Summary: Renji/Ichi. A collection of oneshots for one of the cutest pairing in the Fandom. From love to humor, angst to friendships.
1. White Day

**Oneshot  
Warning: Slash  
Pairing: Ichi/Renji  
Genre: Romance, Humor.**

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Renji fingered the box in his pocket, he had been waiting all day to give it to his special someone.

Earlier that day while walking through Kakakura, he noticed that some shops that were selling chocolate had been decorated in pink and banners saying 'Give your Valentine a Valentine this White day' and such were displayed.

When he asked Rukia about this phenomenon, she explained what Valentine Day was.

She replied that Valentines day was in February, this month which was March was the day guys gave girls who had given them candy, candy.

He found it a little strange but with Rukia's prodding, got something for his crush.

His palms were sweaty now, he didn't know how the Strawberry would react. Would he laugh, get angry or just plain ignore it?

He took a deep breath, let it out.

The window to Ichigo's bedroom was open so he just let himself in. Rukia was no where to be seen and Ichigo was doing some homework. Beside him was a whole pile of chocolate.

Wrapped, boxed, it came in all shapes and sizes. Renji found himself losing his nerve.

"Why can't you Shinigami enter the house the normal way, there's this thing, it's called a door." Ichigo swiveled around and sighed.

"Hello to you to." Renji replied he had to do it before he lost all nerve completely.

He took out the box and tossed it to Ichigo.

"HereyougoHappyWhitedayRukiatoldmewhatitwassoIthoughtI'dgetitforyou." He babbled, silenced when his lips were pressed with another's.

When they pulled away, Ichigo smirked and popped the candy in his mouth, a slight pink tinting his face by his sudden audicity.

"Thanks Renji, one thing though."

"What?" Renji asked, still dazed.

"Why am I the girl?"  


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My first yaoi, I'm over to the Dark side. Where's my cookie?!


	2. For xerxesdiva902

**Oneshot  
Title: What went wrong  
Pairings: what do you think?  
Characters: Renji, Ichigo, Hitsugaya, Urahara, Yoruichi  
Summary: Hitsugaya and Ichigo are caught in a very uncomfatable situation...  
Dedicated to: xerxesdiva902 for being my first reviewer. This is for you!**

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**I could say it was a bright and sunny day.

I could also say that it was a day where everyone felt happy.

I could then say there was fluffiness, sweetness and joy all 'round.

I would then, be lying.

"I am going to _murder _Matsumoto." Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth.

"Save some for the rest of us." Ichigo agreed, eyebrows drawn tightly, expression a twin of Hitsugaya's own.

"Wa' kinda sick joke is this?" Renji bumped into something, he had been wondering around in the dark for some time now.

He'd woken up to black, blinked a few times, pinched himself. Zabimaru was no where in sight/feel and he couldn't tell if his eyes were open or not.

He had stood up cautiously and wandered around aimlessly.

"Stupid Matsumoto, stupid reiatsu blocking handcuffs, stupid!" Ichigo grumbled, the 10th division fufutaichou had handcuffed both the orange head and the captain together in a implying position.

locked in an uncomfortable embrace, Ichigo's right and left wrist handcuffed together around Hitsugaya's waist, Hitsugaya's around Ichigo's neck.

The strawberry had to kneel down so they were comfortable, Zabimaru stuck over a rock just a few meters where they were.

They'd found the piece of paper when they'd woken up.

It informed them that the only way for them to get out was when Renji found his way out of the dark maze and reclaimed Zabimaru.

"Matsumoto" Hitsugaya groaned.

"Urahara" Ichigo twitched.

"Sitting around won't solve anything." Ichigo finally said after about an hour. He recognized this place as the underground training area underneath Urahara's shop. The maze was just left from where they were.

It was very awkward but they finally got to the maze.

"Renji!" Ichigo called out.

"Abarai!"

"Renji!"

They called out fro a while until they got a response.

"Ichigo? Hitsugaya Taichou? What the heck is this?!" Renji yelled.

"I can't find Zabimaru, I don't know where I am and I'm totally blaming Urahara!" Renji called out.

"Zabimaru's here, you're in the maze and we're so gonna kill him when we get out of here." Ichigo yelled back.

"Maze...oh."

There was a sudden explosion to the right of the maze, Renji had blown a whole through the side with Kido.

He took one look at the predicament his friends were in and wondered if he wanted to laugh or snatch his boyfriend away from this 'threat'.

The moment he took Zabimaru, the handcuffs disappered, Urahara's last joke.

The sudden lack of binding caused the two to suddenly crash into each other.

Renji rushed to help.

"_Mine_" he hissed into Toshiro's ears who rolled his eyes, Ichigo didn't notice the exchange.

_Two hours later_

"What did you do now Kisuke?" Yoruichi groaned when she saw the sorry (not really) form of her green stripe hat best friend.

She got him an icepack which he held against his blackening eye.

He was half frozen, bruised up and beaten up by the three shinigami who furiously found their way out sooner than Urahara expected. Matsumoto had been marched back to Soul Society to do paperwork.

Yoruichi sighed "And what did you learn from this?" She asked.

"Next time hide the Zanpakto better."

"Go on."

"Let you in on the plan."

"Nope, something else.

"Tie Ichigo with Renji."

"Good boy."


	3. What!

**Title: **What?!  
**Rating: **K+  
**Pairing/Character/s: ** Renji, Ichigo, stupidness  
**Warning/s: **Friendship!! If opposed to it DO NOT READ!!  
**Summary:** Ichigo is late...  
**Dedication: **Peroxidepest17, because that author is my inspiration!  
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Ichigo rushed in, muttering curses under his breath.

"You're late." Renji yelled at him snapping awake. He'd been waiting so long he accidentally fell asleep. He felt around his face for drool or ink marks ( Jinta wasn't kind to freeloaders.)

"Yeah, yeah sorry but I had a good reason!" Ichigo dropped his hands to his knees panting. Renji waited for him to sit down to catch his breath before asking him to continue (he also said some very questionable words that I wouldn't put in).

"So I was having a cup of coffee and getting ready to come here but then Rukia comes in and tells me there's a hollow somewhere.

She goes off without me and I feel around for my badge but it isn't there, so I look for Kon but he's off somewhere I don't want to know so I decide to leave it to Rukia.

It so happened that the hollow was coming to where I was so big, bad and ugly decides to attack me.

Rukia, as it happens, wasn't there so I had to fight him myself. Some people actually _gathered _around thinking I was doing some hip hop or something.

I had absolutely no space to fight or run but then suddenly an arrow whizzes by and Ishida chooses that moment to say something snarky but by that time Rukia had arrived and did that weird pink smokey thing that made everyone forget what happened.

Then Ishida asks why I couldn't just 'go shinigami' or something like that and we argued for a while until Rukia decided to kick me.

And then guess what happened? She pulls out my substitute shinigami badge and looks at it like she didn't know what it was. She frikin' forgot that she grabbed it by mistake!" Ichigo's fist slammed the table hard.

"Er, what?"

"What part didn't you understand?" Ichigo yelled, exasperated.

Renji paused, lifted a finger, paused again.

"What's coffee?"


End file.
